Finding Stillness within Chaos...

Finding Stillness in Life

 

                Camp Grayling- As I looked thru my sights and centered them in on an Armored Personal Carrier that was sitting on a hilltop 250 meters away, I couldn’t help but feel nervous as heck. Shooting at anything is an adrenaline rush like none other. My fingers trembled as I loaded rounds into my magazine and again peered thru my scope to double check that everything was well enough to proceed. I was so focused looking thru my scope that I could feel the blood pounding in my ears. Yet deep inside me there was stillness. There was a quiet confidence that deep down told me that I done this shot before, and had trained for hours and hours running gun drills.  Being in that place blanketed and reduced all of my natural body reactions—the excess of adrenaline, narrowed tunnel vision, and trembling hands. Inside I knew I was going to hit the target.   I adjusted my scope again, my made final corrections and pulled the trigger for the spotting round. A small flame shot out as the tracer burned through the air and deflected off the hull. I was dead center. My assistant gunner tapped my shoulder and tucked in close to my side before yelling out the final call. “Back blast area all secure…ROCKET!!” There was a slight pause as I depressed the launch lever, and pulled the trigger. The rocket left with a loud and violent explosion of color and sound. I struggled to maintain control of the launcher as the rocket roared out. I saw nothing thru my scope as the rocket had kicked up dust, dirt, and rocks, temporarily blinding and deafening me. Less than a fraction of a second later I got my result. The sound of a rocket exploding and an intense heat reflecting back towards me told me I had hit me target...then there was eerie stillness…

 

It’s hard to find stillness in life isn’t it? Sometimes we forget what stillness is or even what it looks like. Usually when we try to be still, we usually end up getting dragged away by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I will be the first one to admit that I am guilty of this. In several conversations I had with friends this week, the topic of “stillness,” was brought up. It’s something I finally realized I was supposed to write about. I often forget the meaning of being still. Stillness means to say nothing. It means to simply listen.

 

As Americans, we hate being still. We associate “busy” as a good thing, and an expected way to live life. “Oh hey Mehari how’s life?” 9 times out of 10 I will reply, “Oh it’s busy, but good.” Don’t believe me? Here’s a test. Next time you go to a movie theatre, restaurant, or someplace that has a line where people have to wait for something, see how many people can’t seem to stand still. Some will pull out cellphones to try and look busy, some will adjust their clothes for the billionth time, and others will fidget with their keys. As a culture we hate being still. Trapped inside a car, train, or airplane? No worries, just fire up your Wi-Fi device or iPod and rock the time away!

Time is the biggest enemy of stillness. I mean after all, they say time is everything right? Time is money. Time to go. Time to do this. Time for that. I don’t have time. I demand your time. Everyone operates on time. Everyone operates plugged in. Smart phones, tablets, iPods, radios, TV’s all are components of time. They demand our attention. We get so plugged in that we forget what stillness is and what stillness sounds like.  Once again, I have my hand raised. Guilty as charged.

One of the verses that I NEVER UNDERSTOOD in the Bible was from Psalm 46:10. Be still and know that I am God.  To me it made no sense at all. By knowing God, I thought it meant that I had to actively pursue and seek him. That’s what most people are led to believe. We forget that God always pursues us. It’s in that stillness where oftentimes he may be found…

It’s oftentimes shocking what you hear when you intentionally take time to be still. In 2007, I experienced what being still meant in a trip I took a trip to Alaska with a leadership development team. If you have never been to Alaska, it’s some of the most breath taking scenery you could ever lay eyes on.  Snowcapped mountains are everywhere dotted with green forestry at the base of these gigantic mountains. Every day I woke up surrounded on every side by these beautiful mountains. Every day for an hour and a half each morning, each one of us had to spend time alone in devotions. Devotions are never fun at 8 AM. I thought it would be a waste of time, and I didn’t want to do it. Yet everyday I would split off from the group and wander around for an hour and a half. Let me tell you that in the mountains of Alaska, by yourself for an hour and half, you learn quickly to be still. You learn to hear things you wouldn’t normally hear. A gentle wind breeze, birds chirping, bee’s buzzing, and other random things. After a while, I started to just listen. There wasn’t anything else to do. Stillness just sunk in.  In fact, the stillness became loud. It was like I had turned on something inside I never knew I had. It enveloped me. It was in that stillness time, where God taught me who he really was to me. He was everything. He was that still, quiet, reassuring presence radiating his love down on me. It was truly overwhelming. It’s something you have to experience in order to grasp but in that moment I knew that God would always fight for me because he loved me no matter how bad my flaws or shortcomings were. God isn’t stupid; we’re just sometimes too stubborn to think he can help us.

 

Try it. I dare you. Take 15 minutes and just be still. It could be turning off the radio when you’re usually listening to it while driving or while you’re at the gym working out with your iPod in. Heck, light a candle at home, turn off the lights in the room and just be still. See what happens. What’s the worst that could?  After all, he created you right? Why wouldn’t he want to talk to you? You’re his kid.