So I re-found one of my one of my
Dad’s biggest pet peeve’s. As we
sometimes do in the evenings, we’ll sit on the couch and catch a football game
in the evening. That night there was a rivalry football game between Washington vs.
Washington State. The game was tied 28-28 and went into overtime. On the first
play of the game, Washington’s QB dropped back for a pass and threw an interception
to a defensive lineman. My dad and I reacted as any casual football fan would
do. We started hollering for this lineman racing down the sideline towards the
end zone as if we personally knew him. “Don’t stop!!,” I screamed at the tv,
“Go, go, go!!!” my Dad hollered. If he
scored the game would be over. As this lineman raced towards the end zone
(Which would win the game), he began looking back every few steps. Suddenly a
Washington player came into play. The Washington State lineman desperately looked
back again and tried to take a new angle towards the end zone, running almost
oblique to the sideline to evade the Washington player. We could see it wasn’t
going to work. He was tackled at the 3 yard line. “Why did he look back?” my
Dad moaned, “You never, ever, ever, look back.” His voice became sterner as he
began to lecture the player on TV. “If you didn’t look back you would have
scored and this game would have been over.”
It brought back my high school
sports playing days. My family was without a doubt my biggest fans. They were at every
game on the sideline hooting and hollering for me until most of them were hoarse (Ok, maybe that was only Dad).
One thing that I learned from him is if you get a breakaway, you NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER look back. “No matter what Daniel, focus on what’s in front of you and
what you can control.” So many times in games when I had a breakaway I could
always hear my Dad’s voice in the back of my mind fueling me as I raced towards
the goal. “Never look back.” I developed a mindset that no one was going
to ever catch me on a break away. Ever. And to the best of my knowledge, no one
did. That mindset paid off not only on the field, but in life as well….
“Gentlemen, I regret to inform you,
but you will not be going to Afghanistan.” On a hot, humid August day in 2011, those
words reached my ears and shattered my world that I had been living in. For the
last month, and stretching back almost a year and a half, my battalion had been
training to deploy to Afghanistan. For the stretch I was in, I had lived and
died every day with scenarios and situations that we trained in from sun up
until past sun down. Day patrols, night patrols, casualty evacuations, IED
lanes, call for fires, live fire ranges, demolition ranges, language classes,
history classes, radio classes, the list went on. We got updates from what was
happening in the area we were going to in Afghanistan and we trained to be
ready to handle those situations. I had mentally and physically steeled myself
for that deployment. I still remember the feeling of eeriness I got as I signed
off on my will and wrote my last letters to family and friends. All at the age
of 22.
“So we aren’t going then…” Even 8 hours later
back in barracks the night of the announcement I still hadn’t gotten it. I felt
as if someone had kicked me in the stomach and slammed me to the ground. I shifted my eyes to look at other Marine's
faces around me, and all I saw was the same look. Rage. I could feel it
building up all around me. Already several Marines had punched walls to no
avail, thrown chairs, and whatever else it seemed reasonable to toss. We had
worked so hard, and invested so much time and effort into the build up. I took
it personally. Several Marines, including myself had lost close friends; no,
brothers over in Afghanistan. I felt as if some person higher up on Capitol
Hill deemed it unnecessary and with a flick and swoosh of a feather tipped pen took
it away. Did they not realize the sacrifice? Marines had sold cars, houses,
moved family in with family, and told employers to hold their jobs. I felt
cheated. I felt as if someone had ripped away what I had worked so hard towards
helping out with. We were necessary. And someone had said we weren’t….The media
had said that things were cooling off over there anyways. Right, right, that’s exactly right. Go tell that to the 3/5 Marines who lost over 30 Marines and had over
200 wounded in 6 months of tour…
Oddly enough, I think back to my
Dad’s words…..”NEVER, NEVER, NEVER look back.” I remember coming back home and
my family and friends being super over joyed. I was in shock. People always had
to put in their two cents whenever they found out. “Oh they don’t need you guys
over there anyways,” or “Wow, well I’m so glad you’re safe.” I sympathize with
my sister Senayit, who was told this week that they were cutting her 9 month
tour short. She was only 5 months in, and mentally prepped for 9. So she will
come home only to go back out again. While this is a joyous occasion for my
whole family, and believe me no one is more excited than me, I also have to be
sensitive and know that this is a process for her because I was in her shoes at
a time.
It will bug me for the rest of my
days in the Corps. 1/24. The first Marine Corps Regiment to be told to stand
down and not deploy…but I think to what my Plt. SSgt said to us when we first
found out. “Well boys, it looks like the good Lord wanted some of you to still
be here on this earth, because believe me where we were going, not everyone was
going to make it back.” Then I think to my Dad’s words that offer encouragement
to the future. “Never look back.” And while sometimes it’s ok to look back and
wish what could have happened, sometimes it’s better to look towards a brighter
side and future of things.
Trust the process!
No comments:
Post a Comment